#4 Why You Shut Down, Get Defensive, or Blow Up—and What to Do Instead

Episode 4: Why Your Protective Move Creates Distance in Marriage—and How to Shift It

Every couple has conflict—but it’s how we respond that shapes connection or disconnection. In this episode, Brett shares how protective moves (like withdrawing, defending, or pushing) are often instinctual—but rarely helpful. You’ll hear:

A real story from the Arizona hiking trail that reveals how our brain reacts to perceived threats

The 4 “animal” protective types: Turtle, Porcupine, Mouse, and Moose

A story from Brett and Kelsey that shows how fast protection can spiral

What to do when your protective instincts kick in

This episode helps you notice your patterns and begin responding with clarity and vulnerability instead of defaulting to protection. Because connection doesn’t come from defending—it comes from showing up.

Mentioned in this episode: 🎥 Free Class — The #1 Reason Marriages Struggle—And How to Fix It 👉 Click here to watch it now.