#7 When You Shut Down in Conflict

When things get tense in your marriage, do you go quiet? Shut down? Pull away—hoping not to make it worse?

In this episode, Brett unpacks why so many people shut down during conflict—not because they don’t care, but because they feel stuck and unsure how to re-enter without doing more damage. He shares how this showed up in his own marriage, explains the “Mouse vs. Mouse” dynamic, and offers a clear, compassionate path forward using the 4 R’s.

You’ll learn:

• Why withdrawal is often a protective move, not a careless one

• What’s really happening internally when you go quiet

• How the 4 R’s (Regulate, Reassure, Reveal, Repair) help you re-engage without guessing

• Why learning to transfer your care in a way your spouse can feel is the game-changer

Whether you’re the one who shuts down—or you love someone who does—this episode brings clarity and hope to one of the most misunderstood dynamics in marriage.

Mentioned in this episode:
🎥 Free Class — The #1 Reason Marriages Struggle (and How to Fix It)
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